I’m Right About This
I viewed a really interesting video yesterday. It was of Seth Godin. You may know of him; he’s written a bunch of books on marketing and branding.
It’s a five minute video on his interpretation of “fundamentalism” and “curiosity”. You can view it by clicking here.
Here’s what I heard, learned, and will be applying to my life:
- Fundamentalism is NOT a religious thing. It’s a way of thinking, behaving and BEING. It’s based on looking first at your belief and interpretation, then measuring an external experience to see if it fits with your belief or interpretation.
- Curiosity is the opposite. It’s a way of observing what’s happening externally, then simply asking questions about how that fits into your world, your beliefs, your interpretations, and your mission.
So, what does that mean? This is what I learned:
I have a filter called my belief system. There are things that fit inside of it and things that don’t. One of my belief systems is that liver and onions is totally gross. Another is that racism is totally gross. Both of these beliefs serve me and I keep my life predictable and safe by staying away from both. If someone asks me about either, I will share without any doubt, that I do NOT believe in liver and onions and I do NOT believe in racism. My belief is that they are both wrong. I consider myself a fundamentalist on both issues.
Now, I realize there are plenty of people who enjoy liver and onions. And, I realize there are plenty of people for whom racism serves. So what if I were to take Seth Godin’s advice and consider curiosity instead? Here’s what I see and how I can apply it to my life:
What if I were to just be curious about liver and onions? I might actually step out of my “You’ve got to be crazy to like that stuff!” and just simply be okay that there are people who truly enjoy liver and onions. My wife can’t stand cilantro and I love it. Could it be the same for liver and onions?
And, what if I were to just be curious about racism? I might stop being critical and judgmental of people who I call racist (and when I do that, isn’t it just more of the same?). Maybe if I brought curiosity to those situations when I’m present to someone being racist, I’d ask questions such as “What is this person afraid of?”, “What event occurred in his past that upset him to the point of becoming racist?”, “How can I support this person’s compassion rather than his racism?”
If I were to simply be curious about these situations, would I end up being a bigger contribution than if I were to just simply declare my fundamentalist beliefs?
So here are a few invitations for you:
- Notice when you begin sharing your opinion right away. Check in with yourself and ask, “Am I practicing my fundamentalism or my curiosity?”
- Make a list of the top 10 things you’re a “fundamentalist” about. Then ask, “What’s available for me if I were to be curious about these rather than be right about these?”
- Ask, “What part of my business am I a fundamentalist about? How is that supporting or not supporting me?”
- Be willing to make messes along the way of moving from fundamentalism to curiosity. You are completely capable of cleaning them up and it’s HIGHLY likely no one will die in the process.
Finally, it’s really just a choice. You’re welcome to be a fundamentalist and you’re welcome to be curious. Life is a wide open opportunity and you get to choose what works best for you.
Happy Questioning,
- Coach Preston
PS – If you haven’t read any of Seth’s stuff, I highly recommend looking him up and reading what he has to offer. Here’s his blog: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/
Preston,
I read and appreciate this post.
I agree. However, I also think that as a culture we also need to be careful to let this thinking begin to translate into ‘tolerance’. In the 50’s, there was almost no tolerance for high-cut skirts during prime-time hours, but now even our commercials bare more skin than was socially acceptable in the 50’s. While times do ‘change’, and fashions change, if we let our guard down, and simply choose to ‘tolerate’ the things that we don’t (morally) agree with, we will ultimately become desensitized to them.
Racism is a great example. Hitting them over the head with your beliefs will certainly not persuade them to think differently, nor will it strengthen or raise up anyone. But at the same time, we should not simply ‘tolerate’ it and simply respect it for their right to their own opinion. Finding that balance is the trick. My only purpose for this email is to suggest that I see many people who use the school of thought which you’ve succinctly articulate before to mean ‘tolerance’ and ‘acceptance’ of pretty much ANY way of thinking.
If we all simply accept that there is no ‘real’ right and wrong, and that right and wrong is always up to the individual, according to their own filter (Charles Manson), we will continue to head down a slippery slope of immorality. Our divorce rates are at 51% or higher. Why? Because we’ve decided that’s it’s a better way to go, than staying married. We’ve decided as a country that it’s impact to our kids, and families is less important than staying together. This is simply ONE of numerous ways of thinking that this country as decided to tolerate.
I hope I’ve communicated my thoughts clearly, not as a debate to your post, but as a clarification that I hope people will make. I look forward to your thoughts J
Bjorn Olson
bobjorn1@sbcglobal.net
Preston:
Great stuff. Let’s keep up the curiosity. Here is a quote I like that sort of relates.
“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which can not fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation.”
–HERBERT SPENCER