Stop Overwhelm Now
I thought I’d post a question I found on LinkedIn Answers recently as not only is it a common issue we deal with as business owners and professionals, but it’s one of the most challenging to deal with:
“We all know a disciplined lifestyle helps us be more productive, effective and successful… but with so many things on our plate, staying up late, skipping breakfast, missing family events, falling behind our targets; this all becomes inevitable more often than we would like. What are you doing to discipline yourself…what are you doing to keep yourself motivated to stay in that disciplined lifestyle?”
As a coach, not only do I see this in clients, but I experience it as well. We are all constantly taking on more than we can likely handle and we know it’s destructive. Yet we don’t stop.
So what is it that keeps us going, going and going? I invite you to consider it’s the LACK of the following three characteristics.
Leadership Practices:
1) Commitment – Ask yourself “What am I really committed to?” If you’re consistently late or behind on projects, are you more committed to being late (therefore being “right” about how busy you are) or are you more committed to reaching your goal? Sometimes an unpleasant question, but one that will get you back on track.
2) Compassion – I see busy people get even busier because they beat the pulp out of themselves for not completing the previous task (and so on). They punish and make themselves wrong thereby adding stress to the situation which is a consistent obstacle in itself. Here’s a practice I give my “busy” clients = practice declaring the day complete every evening whether you’ve finished everything or not. Carrying incompletion into the next day is a sure-fire way to drown.
3) Courage – Be willing to say “no”. We are bombarded by requests and demands every day. Most of us grow up with a disempowering interpretation of the word “no”… of course we would, Mom and Dad told us “no” all the time growing up. So as adults one of the best ways for us to avoid that word is to say “yes”. Uh-oh, now we’re in trouble as we’ve committed to far more than we can handle. Practice saying “no”. Start with some small things/events then move to bigger ones. You’ll be surprised… the world will continue spinning. “-)
Taking a leadership role with our time doesn’t require a PhD or engineering background. Several basic and familiar structures will do the trick every time.
Happy C’s,
-Coach Preston
Opps. Sorry for the typo. Easier to SAY ‘no’.
Preston
I must agree with everything in your post and emphasis the last point about learning to say ‘no’. One thing that I found helps people say ‘no’more easily is to first say “Let me think about it. Could you call me back tomorrow after I get a chance to check my schedule?” This removes the pressure of an immediate answer, which tends to be ‘yes’ even if it should be a ‘no’ because the activity is not in alignment with the goals and roles of the individual. However, we are raised born with a desire to please, and saying ‘yes’ feeds that desire. After removing oneself from the pressure of saying ‘yes’ and analyzing the schedule, it is often clear and easier to day ‘no’.
Be well.
Alita
Interesting how you say that it is the LACK of three characteristics that
keep us going. No doubt the lack of commitment will stop us from going where we want to go. So will the inability to say “no”. Lack of courage will also stop us.
These three characteristics are needed to keep us going. But lacking them, in my mind, will stop us, derail us.
I have to admit before I met the fine people of Motor City Connect and learned of networking in person and how to do it properly. I would have never thought of freelancing. Plus, I guess I might not have thought to look outside of the box.
I have also learned that saying, “No” is really more important then saying, “yes.” You can always take the easiest thing because it is simple or because you feel desperate. Which is not the setting you want to be in. Things just don’t work out that way. You need to know your personal value and I think this goes along with leadership because you can believe in yourself and value the insight people have.
Thanks,
Jamie
Preston – very nice. As we gear up for our workshop on Social Media here in Olympia, both my joint venture partner and I find ourselves heading toward overload. I know that if I did not have a coach for all the time I have, I would be in overwhelm. But being able to properly prioritize, know how to say “no” and figure out what’s truly important, has helped me stay clear, on task, and targeted. We’re looking forward to a fun day, and a day off on Sunday!
Jan