An Uphill Life
Life and work, at times, feel like an uphill struggle. We constantly second-guess our careers, our roles, our projects, our life, our relationships and … and … and…
I do it too. Maybe more than anyone else.
The thing is, where does it get us? Not very far, although I keep trying to prove that theory wrong. 
Alternative to Fixing
I discovered Pema Chodron a few years ago. She’s an American Buddhist nun and author. Quite a combination. In her book, Comfortable with Uncertainty , one of the chapters really struck me. It talks about three strategies we use that, however much we believe they work, really sabotage us:
Attacking
We’ve all been with that colleague who’s typical response to the familiar “how was your weekend” question on Monday morning is, “Why didn’t you get that report done on Friday?” Kind of like the sucker punch your older cousin would give you at family gatherings – doesn’t really do any long-term damage, but it sure hurts in the moment. Ever wonder what that colleague has left unfinished? Think about it.
Indulging
Comfort, is what Chodron points to directly. Comfort with the how many clients you have. Comfort with how sales have gone or how your engineering team only had to delay the project one day. Comfort that tomorrow will be the same as yesterday. The moment you say “I know” or “The economy is having an impact” is the moment you’ve completely embraced your indulgence.
Ignoring
I have a friend who, no matter where we are, stops to pick up trash. My clear and unconscious action is to simply walk by it. What’s the difference? My friend sees that every action he takes has an impact. I ignore trash on the street largely because I feel it won’t make a difference. In those moments I’m ignoring the difference I make. If we take the conversation beyond trash, where else do I ignore making a difference?
The fear is so BIG
A colleague of mine shared a very interesting perspective with me today. She said, “Sometimes I’m so paralyzed by the fear, it seems like there’s no way around it.” Man, did I ever get it.
How many times have we been in a situation with no visible escape hatch from the fear? You try to run and hide, but the fear is so BIG it’s already moved into your favorite and reliable hiding place. Crud.
This is an exhausting game I play… the one called “try to dodge my fear.” Working lots of hours, waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about being worried – these are just several expressions of running away from it.
Then my colleague said, “I’ve gotten exhausted too Preston. But I’ve come up with something that seems to help. Rather than try to avoid the fear, I’ve made up a game called ‘Making a game of failing’.”
